Self Esteem Part 1 - Types of and Impacts on Self-Esteem

When delivering an assertiveness workshop, two aspects seemed to hit home with the participants. One was around relieve zones and the other self-esteem.

Individuals had most strangeness in accepting their own accountability and selection about self-esteem.

Fluke

What is self esteem?

Ok, before going any further, what do you or your clients understand 'self-esteem' to be? Self-esteem typically refers to the way you think and feel about yourself. It combines both your evaluation of personal competence as well as your evaluation of basic worth as a human being.

What impacts self esteem?

The way we view and feel about ourselves has a profound effect on how we live our lives. These opinions are shaped by experiences in the family, at school, from friendships and in wider society.

Most very young children don't assuredly think about self-esteem. They are commonly valued and feel valued just as they are - without comparisons or judgments about how fulfilled, and/or lovable they are. Somewhere as we grow most of us lose that innocence. Beliefs and needs start to impact on our view of ourselves.

The interaction in the middle of the environment in which you live and work, and the environment you found within yourself influences your self esteem.

Types of self esteem

I would categorise three main types, or levels, of self-esteem along a continuum:

Low self esteem healthy self esteem high self esteem

Self esteem is rarely consistent. So when reading the following descriptions, you will probably recognise one or two characteristics from the two that are least like your client. You will probably find one that is most like your client and still not all the descriptions will fit.

1. Low self esteem

The more frequent, intense and continuing negative thoughts and feelings a man has about themselves, the lower their allembracing self esteem is likely to be. Some of the effects low self esteem can have on an individual's beliefs and behaviours are:

Little confidence in their abilities If things go well, they dismiss them as luck or fluke Expect that they will do poorly at a task prior to trying it Give up fast when faced with difficulties notice failed attempts and discount/ignore successes and so 'confirm' negative thoughts - ie self fulfilling prophecy! Let things happen to them rather than make things happen Feel they have itsybitsy operate over their own life Give power over to others Wonder what it is about them that causes bad things to happen to them Overly defensive when questioned and avoid request questions so don't look foolish 2. High self esteem

It is inherent to have an apparently high level of self esteem but it is not necessarily based on reality. Some of the characteristics are:

Self aggrandisement (exaggerate greatness/importance) Feelings of superiority notice failings in others and not themselves A sense of entitlement Expect to be treated with respect and, at the same time, do not feel the need to show respect Assume they are better than most, if not all, population they meet Discount/ignore negative feedback by discrediting the source Put others down 3. healthy self esteem

As for healthy self esteem, here are some characteristics:

liking themselves, for the most part, as they are, only occasionally having short bouts of self doubt respecting themselves as well as others compatible with humility, placing them midway in the middle of grandiosity and self-effacement inescapable without being overbearing see comment and questioning as useful feedback ordinarily take setbacks and obstacles in their stride, and able to accept and learn from their own mistakes unlikely to feel a need to put others down open and assertive in communicating, for instance their needs self reliant and resourceful without refusing help able to laugh at themselves, not taking themselves too seriously Where do your clients fit on the continuum? How happy are they with it?

Self Esteem Part 1 - Types of and Impacts on Self-Esteem

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Self Esteem - Your Self Image

How we feel about ourselves would have to be the singularly most important factor in determining our happiness. Our self image absolutely determines how much we like the world and how much we like living in it, it also determines how much we will perform in life. It is a blueprint which determines exactly how we will behave, our selection of partner, who we will befriend and what we will avoid.

Many of us live unawares within the bounds of a photograph created from our experiences, our successes and failures, the thoughts we have had about ourselves and other peoples reactions to us. Negative self images can become deeply embedded, for example a someone may see themselves as being hopeless at a definite task, if they suddenly effect in that task they will say it was a fluke or alternatively if they fail they will say "see that proves I am hopeless". Some people see a salutary self love as being the equivalent of being egotistical, they are absolutely unblemished opposites, people with a salutary self love feel comfortable doing things which add quality and charm to their lives. It also means that they do not feel the need to expound themselves to others, for example as to why they slept late or why they bought that new dress or just spoil themselves from time to time.

Fluke

Our subconscious behaviour and our subconscious programming are intertwined with our self concept, how we feel about ourselves. When we are feeling badly about ourselves we tend to to take it out on ourselves, sometimes in the form of junk food binges, accidents, illnesses, over indulgence in alcohol or drugs, under indulgence in food and so we can go on and on. The is even evidence to suggest that people who have car accidents are often feeling badly about themselves at the time and that the accident is partly a subconscious punishment.

It is imperative that we do all in our power to think definite thoughts as often as possible. Some people are sabotaging their own happiness when they say to themselves that they do not deserve something, or when an captivating occasion presents itself for example they will find a calculate whether subconsciously or consciously as to why they cannot take it on.

Try giving your self image a boost by:

Surround yourself with good people
Learn to accept and receive compliments
Constantly form pictures in your mind of your ideal life
Praise yourself, speak well of yourself
Let people know how you expect to be treated

And finally most important of all treat your body well, aim to become Slim Supple and Strong and give yourself a occasion to address this crucial area of self esteem.

Self Esteem - Your Self Image

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